GORDON: Here. I have heard. Gather my generals.
SECOND MESSENGER: The beasts are sick from plague of foot and mouth!
GORDON: Gather my veterinarians. And shoot the cows.
THIRD MESSENGER: The rains fall hard upon the western towns!
GORDON: Gather my meteorologists. And bring my wellies.
FOURTH MESSENGER: The people run upon a northern bank!
GORDON: Nationalise the sucker—eventually.” —Excerpt from “A tragedy: Gordon Rex”, a play in iambic pentameter by The Economist.
Researchers were conducting a study comparing the views of men in their 20s who had never been exposed to pornography with regular users.
But their project stumbled at the first hurdle when they failed to find a single man who had not been seen it.
‘We started our research seeking men in their 20s who had never consumed pornography,’ said Professor Simon Louis Lajeunesse. ‘We couldn’t find any.’
Although hampered in its original aim, the study did examined the habits of those young men who used pornography – which would appear to be all of them.” —Telegraph.co.uk